He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
