So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
