Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
