Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
