My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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