I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
