i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
