yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
