You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
