I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
