Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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