He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
