shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
