is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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