happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
