Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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