Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
