absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
