Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
