fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
