win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
