Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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