is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
