Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
