i wish peter jackson would direct porn
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I am naked and annoyed.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I need a beard to bite.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
