I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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