Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
