u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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