i just google imaged poop.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
