you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
