i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
