my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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