So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
ttyl tear gas
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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