Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You made out with two different species that night
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
