True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
