alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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