You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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