i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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