i don't like sucking hair
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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