I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
it's like heaven, but drunker
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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