Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
