My friends, they love my intelligence
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
