I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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