hell yes lets make some ravioli
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
