so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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