talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
