Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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