the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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