We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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