Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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