Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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