oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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